Day 1

...Brian created a face. Now the face was formless and empty, smoothness was over the deep and the spirit of Brian was hovering over the pores. And Brian said, "Let there be a beard!"

To quote William T. Riker, "Smooth as an android's bottom."

My wife hates it. I tell her this is all for the boobies. She tells me that if I want to see hers again, the beard must return.

So. Are we ready to begin?

Cmaaarrr got me into this mess. Now you shall all quake in terror at what a beard such as mine can do to your soul.

Listen up, all y'all:

1. I'm in.

2. It's on.

3. You have been warned.

Let's do this.

I'm in.

Let's get in on!

I've been in training for this all year. My students are pumped about it. I've started mentioning it on my podcast already. This year is going to be my year...I'm totally going to win this thing (again) this year...and this time now for the worst grown beard or the bestest blogging.

I'm not entirely sure what I will win for (my beard pretty well sucks)...maybe most improved...I've been practicing that hard, I tell you.

Oh, and I am, of course, in.

Well, er, yes, I guess this thing is on.

Hello, again, everybody and welcome to another exciting season of How Not To Grow A Beard Month.

First, let me catch you up on a few of the developments since last year.

1. Tax-deductibility: I did do some research, but was displeased with the answers. Basically, the cost and time requirements to get us all legalified for official 501(c)(3) tax-deductible status are disproportionate to the amount of money we actually raise. So, for now as I understand it, donations will not be legally deductible. I'm looking at an alternative; stay tuned.

2. The T-Shirt: Visit http://beards4boobs.spreadshirt.com/. Buy a T-Shirt, spread the word, and add $4.10 to the cause.

3. RSS: Links where appropriate will be forthcoming, but if you want to cook your own URL, use the following components: http://honotogroabemo.org/rss[/userID][/followgroup][/comments]/hono.rss
Let me break it down:

• userID: is relatively self-explanatory. If you include it, it will return a list of posts for the user in question. Unless...
• followgroup: the RSS will include posts for anyone in the follow group of the userID provided. (No, you can't yet see/administer your follow group. I'm working on it.)
• comments: Include this token if you want in your feed comments on the posts that are in your feed.

Now, on to 2011. The goal again this year is $5,000. I know this has been a difficult year for many, but we can do this thing. Peddle your beards, gentlemen. Peddle 'em hard.

More to come as we ramp up. How Not To Grow A Beard Month officially begins 12:00 EDT, Tuesday, November 1, 2011. You have been warned.

Positive, Ghost Rider. The pattern has plenty of room.

Sound off like you've got a...beard!

Mr. Miller has chimed in; he's ready to de-beard and re-beard.

My hat is, as ever, in the ring as well. Where are the rest of our beards?

I am in for this year. You have been warned.