"Do not clip your hair at the temples, nor trim the edges of your beard."

- Leviticus 19:27, New American Bible

It's the final night before the final day of this #HoNoToGroABeMo 2011, and it's enough to make a person a bit wild and crazy.

Primitive, even.

Firelight. Hair unkempt. Focusing primal energy for a final growth spurt of the crackling virility hedge.

Oh, and money too. Many thanks to the donor(s) who have seeded many beards around this place over the last day or so, especially to whomever fertilized my facial efforts with green, cashy money - it's greatly appreciated!

Now we see what tomorrow brings...

Descriptor of the day: lush and fragrant

Is anyone in there?

This thing is drawing to a close in just over twenty-four hours and I'm GOSH DARN HECK SPIT not entirely thrilled with my position on the donations board. If you're waiting until the last minute to make that donation, you're GEEZ O'FIDDLESTICKS PHILBIN FART rapidly running out of time, so go ahead and click that "$$" now. To everyone DANGIT CODSWALLOP RABBIT NUGGET who has already donated—whether to my beard TOOT POODLE or to one of the other nineteen participants: Thank you. I know several of you donate year after year, and it means a lot; I wish there were HOG CALLIN' PIE STUFFER more we could do to express our gratitude.

Look at my shirt, my shirt is amazing.

First up, thanks so much to those who donated today. I've added an additional $95 to my total, and the anti-cancer forces greatly appreciate it. To celebrate, I've decided that my shirt needed a little more panache. Unfortunately, I'm out of white plumes, so I made a different sort of alteration.

Yesterday's clue should have been obvious to the hard liquor connoisseur, but in case you didn't get it, it was Gin Rummy. Gin Rummy appears to be one of the few commonly played card games that actually has a designer associated with it, namely Elwood T. Baker. Though Wikipedia names the date of design as 1909, other sites are more vague -- and in fact it's not entirely clear that he was the designer -- but true or not his name is the one associated with it. Gin Rummy appears to be a derivative of a game called Whiskey Poker, and at one point may have been called Gin Poker, before Baker's son gave it the name Gin Rummy. It, like many another card game, was certainly created in a gambling hall, and eventually became the backstage game to play among the Hollywood elite.

But games with making melds have been around much longer than 1909. The oldest is probably Mahjong, which is not a solitaire game that bored officeworkers play, but a tile/card game that bored Jewish ladies play (though I'm fairly certain bored Chinese men and ladies played it first). Fans of Drunken Master II will appreciate the enthusiasm that some people have for the game of Mahjong.

May boobs live long and prosper

With just over 25 hours left to go in this year's drive we are within reach of surpassing last year in sponsorships. Let's push through these final hours and really show the world how much we care about saving boobs and their proud owners so that future generations may enjoy them in all their glory. Now the power of the solid is not to be abused, so I do not ask this lightly: But could you do the world a solid and help fight breast cancer by sponsoring a beard right now? $5.00 from every person I know would help us reach the goal easily. So, you telling me you won't do the world a solid for $5.00? Well, that's a personal choice, but I mean, c'mon, solids don't come much cheaper than that.

(Mouth actually to scale)

Look at me people, look at what I'm doing to myself for Boobs! More donations needed, rocket this manly man straight to the top!

(Next year: Beards4TripleBypass')

As the Beard Turns.

Today is the day before the end. Tomorrow I resign myself to a fate of second place at best. Sure, sure. Right now I'm winning this thing. But every year that we've raised money with this manly foolishness first place has raised over $800 and I'm a few $300 short of that.

I have a tradition in the process of begin established wherein I compare this years final beard to that of the previous year. While this is not my picture of my final beard (rather the beard the day before the final beard) I have opted to continue this tradition in this post instead to the post for tomorrow.

Why?

I'm glad you asked.

Tomorrow three serious beaders in the Triangle-area of North Carolina will be meeting up to celebrate the end of a successful fourth year of beard growing with an evening of dining together. It could be a bit of a...hairy situation.

Ha!

Get it?

In the mean time, I want to thank all my sponsors. I have received money from the parents of students. Co-workers. Gamers. And members of forums I seldom visit. And complete strangers.

A special thank you goes out to Matt Goetz and Roxxy Goetz. Unless I get s a few more sponsors entering into the contest by the end of the day tomorrow it looks like I'll have more prizes than entrants (although those sponsors have been by far the most generous from my understanding). I'm hoping that that means that Roxxy will be willing to give me one of the prizes...maybe giving me a pic of my party or one of my key NPCs or monsters (I mostly DM).

There will be a final posting tomorrow...I'm sure it will be poignant and meaningful, but it could also be rushed...so you're getting some of the sappy stuff tonight. While I can still celebrate being in first place before...someone...takes my glory from me.

There were many things I thought to discuss this year. Writing social studies curriculum for the 17th largest district in the nation. How/why I shaved my head and what I've learned from it about the value of doing crazy things for the greater good. The move from 8th grade to 7th grade. The life of a father of two and how it differs from that of being the father of one. Being the father of a school aged child. Star Trek. More D&D. And probably some comics and tech stuff.

Many things to discuss that I just didn't get to. I guess I'll have something to talk about next year...or not...I actually have a whole new idea about a meme I might do next year...but that's 11 months away. Only time will tell.

For now, the meme of my posts from this year...the Manly Points:

Chris - 70

Beard A Non - 110

Drew - 206 (+1 pro/con-lists)

Wesley - 306

Bob - 309 (+1 for begging)

Duane - 130

Brian - 265 (+2 EVIL...only bigger)

Cmaaarr - 316

Fred - 99

Jeffrey - 296 (+1 drama)

Kris - 289 (+1 psychotic joy)

Michael - 134 (+1 manha manha)

Pete - 287

Brian E - 125

A Dam - 280

Jim - 301

Wannes - 189

Chooch - 240

Jason - 240 (+1 because beards are cool...like fezzes)

Hint: Go back to the beginning. Avoid the alternate.

We're waiting at Logan Airport for our flight. I am tired and ready to be home.

Today, we solve for the final two digits in the ThinkGeek gift card code. And there's no clue in the photo. Just a reminder that sometimes, all you want to do is go back to where you started, back home. Once there, you might be tempted to take the alternate route. But don't. Not this time, anyway.

Beard$ are cool

Today I had this awesomely productive day. I tried changing some code around to do something that, while it should have worked, I sort of doubted would actually work in practice. You know, one of those things that looks good on the whiteboard, but when you try it, it just doesn't work out? Thing is, this worked, and it worked better than I expected. I wanted to open the windows and shout to the world how awesome it was...

Only yelling about how I wrote some cool code that does exactly what I wanted it to do, how I wanted it to, and didn't break anything else isn't really going to make me any new friends, is it? I mean, you'll note I'm not really getting into any details here. Yeah, because that would be really dull.

So, anyway, I think my beard is looking pretty darn beardy for having started a week late. What's your excuse?

Coffee? Yes, please.

As the beardy time comes to its end, I look back upon the advantages and disadvantages of my first beard:

Plus:

1. I look older
2. I look hip with shades and a tie.
3. I've been told it's sexy (albeit by a guy).
4. When I pop chewing gum bubbles, they don't stick to my chin.
5. Less grooming time in the morning.
6. I have something to stroke when looking thoughtful.

Minus:

1. I look older, and also somehow fatter.
2. I look like a homeless guy if I don't groom my hair and wear something nice.
3. It itches and pokes me, and often gets into my mouth.
4. Popcorn husks and boogers stick to my face.
5. One more thing for freezing Cleveland rain to hang on to.
6. It stabs the Mrs. when I gives her kisses.

I shall be glad to see it off.

Dear Buddha: please bring me a pony, and a plastic rocket-

I didn't want to have to do this. You left me no choice....

Ah, who am I kidding...EVIL...I love to doom you all. We only have 2 days left for you to get your donations in and I am at a paltry $70. I have upgraded to a bigger laser and, as you can see, a much bigger rocket. Am I saying you will be spared if you donate to the cause in my name? No. But it does greatly enhance your chances of being left alive till the very end and possibly being offered a position as a henchman. Please donate for the boobies today! You know you love them as much as I love them.