My beard demanded this homebrew tonight. We must feed the beard. It is called Rassilon's Emphatic Spittle, and it is so bitter that it needed to be timelocked lest the powerful hops release the Timelords.

He's a lumberjack, and he's okay...

...I wanted to be a lumberjack!

Flannel...CHECK!

Jeans...CHECK!

Axe...CHECK!

Beard...CHECK!!!

Looking Larger Than Life...CHECK!

Pet Massive Blue Ox...WAITING...

Keep your eyes on the road, your hands upon the wheel...

"When I drive car

I feel like sexy

My blood get hot

My head get high

I work so long

My heart get heavy

But Friday come

The week go by

I leave work early early and I go to town

I meet my girly girly when the sun go down

My heart go swirly whirly make my head spin round

The lights in the mirror the stars

I just drive..."

-Jonathan Coulton, Drive

grep -R "neckbeard" . | less

The itch, it has begun.

As a professional in the technology industry, the neckbeard is a point of significance which cannot be denied. Having one implies certain skills and attitudes which, let's be honest, should not always be mentioned in polite company.

I will be trimming the verge soon, as I do not want to imply that I know more about Unix than I absolutely need to.

At least, someone told me he said that. I was surprised, too. Moon hut? Who knew?

Judge me by my stubble, will you?

And, indeed, you should.

"The measure of a man is not his character, not his honor, but the quality of his beard. Any man who lacks the ability to grow a proper beard should be sent to the moon hut with the womenfolk."

-Charlemagne

MORNING!

This is me. At work. At 5 A.M. Yes, working in software development is an adventure of epic proportions, and by "epic proportions" I mean "early rising for software deployments."

Regardless, I am pleased to see so many fine chins here this year. More participation = more donations....hopefully.

Head out there, gentlemen. Beat the drum. Ring the bell. Work the room. Clasp the hands. Contract the syphilis.

(Erm, that last one is for Dr. Cmar. He knows why.)

Stubble Quality: Fine grit sandpaper

Yesterday's Word Count: 2,058

Infographic: The Trustworthiness of Beards

Thoughtful scorn

It's true. What I really cannot stand is the whining.

"Oh, someone decided to shave BEFORE midnight...they surely must be cheating..."

That whine in your voice reminds me of an eleven year old girl complaining over life not being *fair*. Put up or shut up, you lily-livered gamer momma's boy.

When I win, I don't want there to be any question about the fairness of it. I shaved at midnight so that certain parties would not piss their panties. Today's growth will be on the up-and-up and unquestionable.

So...what other excuses will you have for your failure to grow this year, boy?

Hugs and kisses,

-Chris

To quote William T. Riker, "Smooth as an android's bottom."

My wife hates it. I tell her this is all for the boobies. She tells me that if I want to see hers again, the beard must return.

So. Are we ready to begin?

I am in for this year. You have been warned.