Just a quick photo and a thank you tonight.

One generous donor spread nearly $200 across a multitude of beards today. Thank you, generous donor!

I very nearly failed to post tonight. I think that would have been the first miss in four years of doing this.

Yikes.

Unfortunately, it is very, very late, so a brief post will have to suffice.

The primary reason I don't wear a beard more often is that I do too many things that involve sweat. I know a great many men who are comfortable doing sweaty things in their beards, but I just cannot be one of them. For me, it increases the itch by a factor of at least three, and leads to clogged pores.

So let that be an indication of how much I love the boobies (and the women who possess them). I will bear it with a smile until we've raised the money to eradicate cancer.

Today I enhanced my beard growth by putting in a little extra time on the old day job.

It's a little bit tricky in this day and age to speak of how manly it is to provide for one's family. Certainly, I wouldn't say that a stay-at-home dad, for example, isn't doing manly work. Nor would I say that its incumbent upon a woman to adhere to antiquated gender roles.

I will say that if you aren't doing (or, with unemployment as it is these days, trying to do) at least your fair share, I'd call into question your right to wear that beard.

Today, to prime my beard for growth, I engaged in one of the most manly of pursuits: Playing Rock 'n Roll. I believe I've mentioned on this site that I'm something of a Rock Band (that is, the Harmonix game) enthusiast. Today, I took my Rock Band kit, consisting of two plastic guitars, an Ion Drum Rocker drum set, keytar, pro guitar, mic stands, and associated accoutrement to a friend's house for a long day of rockin'.

Oddly, I was stung by a yellow jacket wasp in my friend's basement. I had no idea the beastie was down there, and I felt an itch on my newly bewhiskered chin. Nothing odd, that, so I reached to scratch it. Well, apparently that frightened the bug which had landed there, and he stung me.

That's not particularly relevant, It was just so unusual that I felt the need to record it.

Another manly pursuit of mine is automobiles and the racing thereof. Tonight, I participated in the first round of the ForzARS racing tournament, following the release of Forza Motorsport 4 for the Xbox 360. I was doing quite well, I qualified 3rd, made it up to first about mid-way through the 25-lap race.

Unfortunately, as I came to lap some slower traffic, I was forced to brake off-line and early. This led the second-place car to run into the rear of my car, which sadly, is where the engine is. With some damage, I managed to bring it home 3rd.

Win or lose, though, that was a great time. I look forward to next week.

On a beard note, there was significant darkening overnight between day 3 and 4. It's already growing less abrasive, as well.

In today's attempt to enhance my virility I engaged in mortal combat, first with the undead, then with my fellow Olde Fartz. This is a thing we do on Thursdays. Let us see if it will substitute for my rather paltry sum of sponsorship in beard fertilization.

On the topic of growth, a certain amount of visible, semi-rough stubble has appeared where once was a boyish jaw. I rather feel like investing in some white sport coats, a house boat, and a Ferrari Testarossa from which to fight crime.

Today I enhanced my manliness through athletic competition. Okay, so volleyball is often regarded as a woman's sport. And, okay, I was playing against girls. It's a coed league.

But still, I sweated. On purpose. And I spiked balls where appropriate. Manly, manly spikes. And we won. 4/6. Woot.

I'm playing twice a week through November. I'll try not to regale you each time about my very manly exploits on the court, but I can't promise anything.

It's gratifying to see so many returning participants as well as a significant crop of new recruits. Thank you all for joining in on a month of shenanigans and tomfoolery which ultimately serves the greatest good: Saving the boobs.

Continue to spread the word, lads. The more gentlemen we have growing beards, the more easily we will meet and then ultimately demolish the goal of collecting $5,000 in sponsorship for cancer research. Lie to your friends. Tell them that a whole day's head start in beard growth doesn't really matter. Try to keep a straight face.

I want to see a clean fight this year. No borrowing your lady's mascara to bolster your chin thicket. No extensions, no weaves. Just you, your sponsors, and your follicles against the world. For what good is a victory that is unearned?

None. None good.

The best shave of my life was, of course, performed by a young Australian woman named Elle. It was not only the charming company that made it the best shave, although that didn't hurt; that was the smoothest my face has felt since puberty. This was just about a year ago, aboard the Freedom of the Seas.

The third-best was performed by a barber with a straight razor. He commented that, "for such a baby face, you sure have a tough beard." This was roughly ten years ago.

The photo to the left represents #2. It also represents the most important. This shave could cure cancer. I won't touch my razor again until December, or the sponsorship money my increasingly grizzled countenance brings in cures cancer. Which ever, you know, comes first.

Send money; I don't know if I can make it to December.

Well, er, yes, I guess this thing is on.

Hello, again, everybody and welcome to another exciting season of How Not To Grow A Beard Month.

First, let me catch you up on a few of the developments since last year.

1. Tax-deductibility: I did do some research, but was displeased with the answers. Basically, the cost and time requirements to get us all legalified for official 501(c)(3) tax-deductible status are disproportionate to the amount of money we actually raise. So, for now as I understand it, donations will not be legally deductible. I'm looking at an alternative; stay tuned.

2. The T-Shirt: Visit http://beards4boobs.spreadshirt.com/. Buy a T-Shirt, spread the word, and add $4.10 to the cause.

3. RSS: Links where appropriate will be forthcoming, but if you want to cook your own URL, use the following components: http://honotogroabemo.org/rss[/userID][/followgroup][/comments]/hono.rss
Let me break it down:

• userID: is relatively self-explanatory. If you include it, it will return a list of posts for the user in question. Unless...
• followgroup: the RSS will include posts for anyone in the follow group of the userID provided. (No, you can't yet see/administer your follow group. I'm working on it.)
• comments: Include this token if you want in your feed comments on the posts that are in your feed.

Now, on to 2011. The goal again this year is $5,000. I know this has been a difficult year for many, but we can do this thing. Peddle your beards, gentlemen. Peddle 'em hard.

More to come as we ramp up. How Not To Grow A Beard Month officially begins 12:00 EDT, Tuesday, November 1, 2011. You have been warned.