This year I did not shave shortly after midnight as is my usual way. Now, I'm not going to say that that was the cause of the additional late donations which drove us up over $5,000, but it is at the very least an interesting correlation.

Imagine what we could achieve if we didn't shave at all!

Our current tally is a staggering $5,096.41. Last year's winner, Pete DiLillo, can lay claim to much of the late surge, but as it came well after midnight, the title stays with Cmaaarrr.

Well done, lads. Well done.

Yay!

Another last day surge! With one donation hitting just after midnight EST, it was close, but Dr. Cmaaarrr pulled out another come-from-behind victory.

We came up short of the goal, but not by very much. $4,362.75! I am once again astonished by what we've accomplished with a bit inspired tomfoolery.

Of course, our donors deserve the real credit. Thank you all so much for your generosity, and in many cases, for putting up with your husbands, brothers, friends, and coworkers looking a little shaggy for a month.

Thanks also to all the gentlemen who posted, whether once or thirty times this month. You gave your time, you very likely put up with some ribbing, you pandered for sponsorship, and in most cases, parted with some of your own hard-earned cash, too.

It'll take a week or two for the echecks and various other payments to filter in, but then I'll send the whole amount to the Breast Cancer Research Foundation. I will post back when it's done. I'll also put together a Fabulous Prize for our winner. Likely a winner's T-Shirt again this year unless I am otherwise inspired.

If you're an RSS user, feel free to stay subscribed to the feed. Stray posts tend to pop up now and again. Likewise, the website will remain up and active if you want to check in or send an off-season donation.

As for me, I must concede the least-unable-to-grow-a-beard title to my cousin-in-law, Beard A. Nonymous. That's quite the magnificent face rug you've got there, young man. I'll entertain any argument on the subject before I call it case closed, but it'll have to be a pretty good argument.

If you've read this far, I 'll thank you for that as well. I'll be back tomorrow with some more wrap-up, but for now, good night!

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Midwestern city life affords a man too few opportunities to just wear a cowboy hat at it.

We had a pretty good surge on day 29, taking us up over $3,000. We'll need some rather epic donations to take it to $5,000 in the next 24 hours, but I hold out hope. Regardless of whether we make the mark, however, we've done some good here again this year.

One more day on the beard growth front, as well. As to the person least able to not grow a beard, well, that award must clearly go to me. Lush, silky, manly hair adorns a once boyish face. The masculinity I exude makes it hard to perform my various responsibilities, tasked additionally as I am with politely informing the lady folk that I am committed to my beloved and therefore unavailable for extramarital acts of procreation.

Where I fail again to not look like an axe murderer

With two days left, our tally of sponsorship is in a dire state. To reach the goal, we'll need to pull in nearly as much as we've collected all month again in these last two days.

Does this worry me?

ohyesohyesohyes Hell, no!

Because I know that in this group of manly men, we have a number of doers, a handful of finishers, one or two go-getters, and perhaps even a decent beggar or two. So, let's do this thing. Cajole, harangue, beguile, wheedle, induce, and otherwise persuade your friends, family, colleagues, and even fellow competitors into kicking in the dollars.

Cancer must be destroyed and together we can be part of the force that destroys it.

The one on my left is more docile and a better color match.

Seeing the benefit of catbearding presented by my competitors, I decided to try it as well. "But," I asked myself, "which cat?" To choose, I decided against all better judgement that a side-by-side comparison was warranted.

It ... did not go well.

The cap totally fails to hide the fact that ne'er a brush did touch my hair today

I never even achieved shower, let alone pants. What a gloriously frivolous and duty free day. I did manage a little cooking and a little cleaning, but that's it.

I finished Fable 3. What an unbelievably frustrating game. It has lots of charm, humor, a few bits of good drama, some very smart game mechanics, but also is just mind-bogglingly inscrutable at times. I accidentally killed all the people. Not because of something I did, but something I didn't get around to doing because it seemed I had time to do it later and was trying to accomplish something else in the mean time. Then, with no warning, the choice was no longer in my hands. Game over, you killed everyone. Nice job. Oh, and there's no save for you to go back to. Thanks for playing.

Do I sound frustrated? I'm a bit frustrated.

The carefree face of a non-shopper

A holiday for many here in the States, Black Friday was just another Friday for me. There was no race this week, though, because of the festivities.

I am horribly amused by retailers' and customers' adoption of the term Black Friday. In the '90s, I worked tech support for retail systems, and that was my first exposure to the term (when used to describe the day after Thanksgiving). At the time, it had a very negative connotation, used as it was by retail workers (and their support network) to describe the hardest day of the year.

Wikipedia tells me that the origin of the term traces back to 1966 when a Philadelphia newspaper reported that that's how the local police force referred to the day due to the traffic problems it entailed.

That marketeers have turned it into a positive thing and consumers have reacted favorably boggles my imagination.

In related news, you would have to actually pay me to shop on the day after Thanksgiving. Factor in the cost of your time, add a little for the sheer frustration of it, and there's no deal available that could make it worthwhile. So, you know, major kudos to Jeffrey for doing what had to be done in the face of XBox failure. You're more man than I, and your beard is a testament to it.

Snnzzz

Happy Thanksgiving, all. I must be brief for I have had a very long, but productive, happy, and satisfying day.

You want me to cook what?

If you are traveling today or tomorrow, be sure to leave extra time for airport screening. Your beard will likely draw the wrong kind of attention.

I hope and trust that the Americans among you will all have joyous (and filling) celebrations of gratitude with friends and loved ones. I hope and trust that the rest of you will have a very fine Thursday.

I, for one, am thankful for my bearded brethren, our generous sponsors, and all the boobs. Thanks.

Bonus beard fact^*
• Your beard can help you extend the feast. Simply eat sloppily, then at a later time, suck the food off your soup catcher.

Am I making shifty eyes? Why am I making shifty eyes?

Unlike Mr. Johnson, I totally changed the timestamp on my post posted just before midnight on the 22nd.

I believe it's time for another round of beard facts^*

• The first How Not To Grow A Beard Month took place in November, 1864. A regiment of union soldiers first came up with the idea of posting photos of their nascent beards to the internet during a lull in combat. Sherman's march to the sea interrupted the fledgling organization before a single boob could be saved.
• It's said that in ancient Greece, some millenia before the beard was invented, men first experimented with facial hair but were unable to proceed beyond week 2 due to the terrible itch.
• It has been widely, and incorrectly circulated that de Beardeaux's eureka moment came when he'd gone out one chilly winter day having forgotten his scarf. The truth, sadly, is more mundane. Years of research on breast-saving techniques led to his invention.
• Thomas Edison attempted to file for a patent on the beard, and if not for a fastidious patent clerk, might have received it, mixed as it was between filings for things like accordions and light bulbs and telephones.
• Our founder, Kris Johnson, generously refuses to take credit for perfecting the beard-boob link, allowing this site to exist.
• I have had only one beer this evening.