Out soon, watch out.

My new job didn't work out very well. I've been ... detained ... for a while. My lady snuck a picture today for this post.

Yes, that is a hoodie-tux. No, you may not have one.

My lawyer has informed me that I will not be paid after the trial is over. I am trying a new job as a butler to establish some 'character references.'

Most impressive

Just in case you weren't threatened by my impressive beard yesterday, here's a closeup to rub it in.

"You cannot grow a beard in a moment of passion." - G. K. Chesterton

Indeed. It looks like it will take a little over a week.

It takes a steady hand

Manly beards need a manly trim. Safety razors are for girls.

"I like to carry it, you never know when your going to need it. A situation may come up say for example, someone has been drinking, and about to drive a loved one home, then I'd like to know I have it. Not to kill, no. Just to maim. Take a little off the shoulder. Swish! The elbow. Slash! Shave a little meat off the old kneecap. Fowap! Ooooo! You got both kneecaps? I like to keep mine razor sharp. Sharp enough you can shave with it. Why I've been known to circumcise a gnat. You're not a gnat are you, Bug? Wait a minute, bug, gnat. Is there a little similarity? Whoa, I think there is! Ha ha ha. You understand what I'm talking about? I don't think you do. I'll be right back. Heh heh heh heh." - John Candy as Uncle Buck

Only the beard matters

My lawyer has advised me that if I continue to post images, my former 'associates' might find me before the trial. I have taken steps to prevent this.

"There are two kinds of people in this world that go around beardless - boys and women - and I am neither one." - Greek saying

If you have a strong stomach: Beards from Below

Be safe or else.

I wear this to protect my beard at night. I forgot to take it off before the photo this morning. Deal with it.

"As to the whiskers, having never worn any, do you not think people would call it a piece of silly affection if I were to begin it now?" - Abraham Lincoln

Off to work!

So I ran out of hoodies. Instead this is my normal work attire as a motorcycle gang member.

"Seize opportunity by the beard, for it is bald behind." - Bulgarian Proverb

Hidden identity = good. Shot in the woods = bad. Safety first.

I have a time machine at my cabin for just this purpose. Unfortunately I'm cutting a month off my life (from your perspective), but competition is all about sacrifice, right?

"The best reason I can think of for not running for President of the United States is that you have to shave twice a day." - Adlai E. Stevenson

Somewhere between unabomber and Eminem

So much for my ZZ Top look. See me again December 1st.

"He that hath a beard is more than a youth, and he that hath no beard is less than a man." - William Shakespeare

You may not know me, but you will fear my beard.