Hoverboards don't work on water, unless you've got power.

I have returned from the future, the ever distant year two thousand, and I'm happy to report my crushing victory in the next 25 Beards4Boobs competitions. Admittedly around victory 10 the donations are actually going to fund the "Will Smith anti-cancer-zombpire fund", but the protection of boobs everywhere is still our top priority. So keep up the support, your donations are making a difference!

Pete Out!

His name is... Harry, Harry Henderson.

Behold, the elusive 'Bearded Pete' in his natural habitat. So hairy, so majestic. Ever vigilante to help those in need, especially when the goal is to grow more hair. For just pennies a day, you can aid this wonderful creature in his quest to obliterate his natural enemy, breast cancer. Donate today!

"It takes an idiot to do cool things. That's why it's cool!

In honor of 11-7-11 (the lesser celebrated of the number combinations) you get a double dose of grizzled, chin-stroking Pete. Keeping in mind it's good internetiquette to donate twice as much to my cause, one for each beard of course! Though I suppose 0 * 2 still equals 0 so maybe you already have...

You can trust me, we'll be juuuuust fine.

It's Sunday, bonus hour has been received AND the universe has also bestowed upon me another wonderful new episode of The Walking Dead! Can't let that distract us from what's important. So, let's keep those donations coming in. Remember that zombie ladies need your help too!

This is what happens after flying for 8+ hours in one day.

So I survived my trip, beard also still intact. My brain is still playing catch up despite getting like 10 hours of sleep last night. Please continue to fuel my beard growing powers with your donations! Remember it's for the ladies!

How did I get here??

Sleepily stumbling around the airport at 5:30 A.M. for trip out to LA. I thought a little 5 hour energy and Starbuck smoothie would wake me up (or at least accelerate beard growth), we'll see tomorrow I suppose.

Go Go Gorilla! Go Go Gorilla!

Lesser known of the secrets of Digital Primates is that at your orientation you are injected with 100% Gorilla DNA. Some may call this weird, others, insane. I'm just thankful that I can finally harness my full body beard for something other than countless Rob Williams Halloween costumes.

Ok, I'm off to beat my chest to attract more mates... er donations.

If chins could kill...

As if able to hear the sirens call of BeardsForBoobs, my beard is growing at full steam. Though I currently stand at dead last on the donation charts (stupid alpha sorting by first name!), my devotion to the cause does not waver. Day 3: Here I come!

On my face, it's ALWAYS 5 o'clock.

So I shaved up the ol' "baby's bottom" this morning and it's never been smoother. A good starting point for my certain and absolute domination of BeardsForBoobs 2011.

There appears to also be a nice new pool of challengers this year, and I look forward to drowning you all in a sea of coarse face bristles.

Power Up!

After my domination of the last HoNo Kombat tournament of beards 2010 I have been summoned back from the depths of Hell to do battle once again. Few are able to withstand my ancient beardly powers, David Moore being my only worthy foe. Too bad he is now dead, muahahahaha! Be afraid newcomers, be very afraid.