Now that the dust has settled from yet another epic chin-thicket competition this year, it is once again time to give out the Cmar Beard Awards for 2011!

In the end, we raised an amazing $5,267.46, which eclipsed our optimistic goal of $5,000, and also welcomed several new participants into the fold. As tends to happen every year, there was a large influx of donations on the final day, leading to an exciting finish. When midnight rolled around, it turned out that yours truly was sitting in the number one spot, and so founder Bob declared me the winner! However, it turns out that there was a delay in a final hefty contribution to last year's winner, Pete DiLillo, so in the early morning hours of December 1 he accrued the most funds of all of us, and pushed us over the top in making our goal! I imagine his expression the next day to be something like he showed us with his Day 28 pic:

In the end, the true winners of this follicular competition were all of us who participated. It was an entertaining month for an excellent cause, and seeing us hit our donation goal was an awesome thing. Bob has posted two recaps looking back on the experience, and as the HoNoToGroABeMo Crackling Virility Hedge Champion for 2011, I add my own humble thanks to all who donated.

That noted, it is time to bestow the Awards! As with last year's awards, these have nothing to do with any donations received, and everything to do with the glorious pictography of lush face-manes:

• Best Beard Photo: This year saw a new bar raised for photographic excellence and composition, but there was only one picture the entire month that forced me to laugh out loud when I saw it. Additionally, it demonstrates in a very obvious way the principle of How Not To Grow A Beard. As such, the clear winner of the best photo this year is Kris Johnson for his Day 30 entry:



• Man Most Exemplifying How Not To Grow A Beard: In prior years, this has been a rather easy category to judge, but that turns out not to be the case. Prior hands-down winner Jeff Greiner's jaw-thicket grew in rather thicker this year - perhaps practice does train a beard? - leaving the field a bit more open. After some deliberation, it was clear that newcomer Frederick Hurley showed us all how not growing a beard is done. Or not done, as the case might be, as shown in his final image:



• Best Time Lapse Photo Series: Creative photo composition is the order of the day in this competition, but this year only one person gave us uniformly consistent poses to show his mandibular sprouts from day to day. That man is newcomer Andrew Rothman! (Click through to view the slideshow.)
• Man Most Exemplifying How To Grow A Beard: As this competition broadens in terms of participants, we are adding some to the fold who are able to muster up incredibly dense facial carpets. This year, the mysterious Beard A. Nonymous blew us all away with his jungle-like final jaw result. Seriously, dude, that is vastly impressive:



• Best Use Of Non-Facially Generated Props: The ante was certainly upped in this category, but Pete DiLillo once again takes the prize for his colorful use all manner of headgear and weaponry. (click through for the slideshow)



• Daily Commitment To The Task: November is a busy month, and few find the time and the stamina to start on Day 1 and produce a post every day for all 30 days. Our founder, Bob, led the pack in this regard as he does each year, and finds himself co-accepting this award with Jeff Greiner, Jim Van Verth, and myself for 2011. Strong work, gentlemen!
• Best-Spun Beardy Yarns: Every participant strives to put down some good words with their hairy pictographs. This year saw a range of pithy comments, beard quotes, facial hair history, and inspirational tales, to name but a few. However, Jim Van Verth pulled out the clear and consistent win. He made every picture a clue to a certain board game or digital game, and then followed each up the next day with some fascinating history and insight into the game in question. Congratulations to Jim for spinning some beardy yarns with a gaming bent!
• Most Intriguing Contest In Follicular Bribery: Along with our mandibular shrubbery, anew phenomenon grew forth during this year's contest, namely that several participants devised their own personal contests to bribe potential donors their way. Of all of these, Jeff Greiner's was clearly the best. Not only did it require the most work, but it was a meta-contest that involved bribing all of us participants with Manly Points to bring our A-game and increase participation and donations. Excellent work, Jeff! Be sure to check out how the points played out.

Congratulations to all of the winners! To all the participants, it was a pleasure joining you once again in this endeavor, and to give recognition where recognition is due. To everyone else, I’ll merely note that only 314 days remain until HoNoToGroABeMo 2012, and this whole mad affair will start up again.

As the current, reigning, and defending HoNoToGroABeMo Crackling Virility Hedge Champion - even under contested circumstances from the #1 Contender to the Title, Pete - I think it only appropriate to provide some parting beardly thoughts from WWE professional wrestler and current (at the time of this posting) World Heavyweight Champion Bryan Danielson:

(This is crossposted with minor editing from my column at The Secret Lair. The original can be found here.)

"Exhibit A: take a look at any picture of any great cartographer. What do you see? Beards and moustaches. Ptolemy? Check. Mercator? Check. Blaeu? Check. Arno Peters? No beard, no 'tache. Check."

- from Strange Maps 542 - Untamed Wilds to Whiskers End: Travels in Beardland

Today was all about some respectable pruning of the crackling virility hedge. I hadn't planned on posting today, but then I reviewed the donation combat of the evening and morning, which played out like a tight old-school eBay auction bidding war. Jeff's prediction somehow came true, despite the fact that I didn't think I would muster enough support to pass him. Then, vastly generous people made that happen, and at midnight I found myself riding high at the head of the pack. Come sunrise, I was blown away to see that Pete had marshaled a final massive burst that made us surpass our goal.

Men, that was a great showing. Donators, that was brilliant generosity, and we all owe you copious thanks. And while Bob has named me the winner for being at the top at the end of yesterday, really, we all won, and that's the important thing.

In just a few days... the Cmar Beard Awards cometh.

Descriptor of the day: trimmed and shocked

We three, we happy three, we band of bearded brothers

It is over. The beards have been grown, the money has been collected, another HoNoToGroABeMo is over. And now, time for some congratulations and some thank yous and some final business.

First, congratulations to Cmar (Cmaaaaarrrr!) for pulling out a traditional last-minute win. And also to Pete, for raising a ridiculous amount of money. And to all of us, really, for meeting and surpassing our goal. It didn't look like it would happen, but we pulled it off.

Secondly, a big thank you to all who donated to my cause. I think this year I might have raised the most in the three years I've been doing this, and it's all because of you.

And the final business: yesterday's game was of course Ratchet & Clank. The original was developed by Insomniac Games, led by design director Brian Allgeier, and first released for the PlayStation 2 in 2002. Ratchet & Clank led to numerous sequels, the latest of which, Ratchet & Clank: All 4 One, I had the honor of working on.

Hey, the month is over, so I can be a little self-serving, right?

HoNoToGroABeMo you have my heart!

We made our goal this year and that is awesome. I also had my best year in terms of fund raising by 200%, which is awesome. Plus, I did this Manly Points thing this year and that was fun and seemed to encourage some others to post more and that was awesome.

Last year I felt like we had a financial success but I didn't take the time to connect with the community as much. I didn't read many posts. I didn't engage in many conversations. This year I vowed to do it better. I read every post and I responded to many of them, either by comments or through the manly points bonus points system.

There were some fantastic themes going on this year as well. I really liked the Beard Anonymous mix and had a lot of fun with Brian's "evil beard".

I want to also comment on the fantastic-ness I get out of HoNoToGroABeMo that I've noticed every year. First, and foremost, I get to help people. Women people...even better. Second, I get to be part of an awesome community full of people who want to help people. Third, it's a huge boost to my productivity. Each year as the school year starts I get busy with that and all my projects in life take a back seat. The self-imposed obligation to post daily here ends up being the kick in the butt that I need every year that kicks up my productivity again. As a result of my time on this site I am fruitful from December through August...and that's no small something.

For the women, thank you HoNoToGroABeMo. For the people, thank you HoNoToGroABeMo. For making me a better person, thank you HoNoToGroABeMo.

Now, the final Manly Points wherein we will discover who the manliest man of the bunch is. Everyone gets a bonus 5,000 points for meeting our goal...this is not reflected below. This time in order from most points to least!

Cmaaarr - 349 (+10 for winning)

Pete - 348 (+5 for bringing loads of cash...and since we know that sponsorship money makes beards grow, and beards are next to manliness...bringing in sponsorships means manliness)

Bob - 339 (+10 for helping to make all this possible)

Jim - 330

Wesley - 316

Kris - 315

Jeffrey - 306

A Dam - 300

Brian - 285

Chooch - 260

Jason - 252 (Not bad for starting a week late)

Drew - 216

Wannes - 209

Michael - 149 (+10 for sushi, -5 for whining about not getting points for it instead of waiting until he had posted about it)

Duane - 145

Brian E - 140 ( I opted to go Brian over Beard A Non based entirely off of funds raised...Beard A Non had it on pics, but as I established before, sponsorships are close to manliness)

Beard A Non - 140

Fred - 109

Chris - 80

And with this...the only thing left to come by the site for now is the highly anticipated Cmar awards.

I'll see you all next year!

This year I did not shave shortly after midnight as is my usual way. Now, I'm not going to say that that was the cause of the additional late donations which drove us up over $5,000, but it is at the very least an interesting correlation.

Imagine what we could achieve if we didn't shave at all!

Our current tally is a staggering $5,096.41. Last year's winner, Pete DiLillo, can lay claim to much of the late surge, but as it came well after midnight, the title stays with Cmaaarrr.

Well done, lads. Well done.

Okay, so this is NOT the conclusion of the Manly Points.

I just saw something amazing this morning and had to mention it. When I woke up I was curious who won this thing so I fired up the iPad and checked the totals.

As expected, and in total manly fashion I saw that Cmar surpassed my total by about $40. Very good, Cmar continues to manage to save all his donations until the last day and challenge us all. Good on you sir!

Then I get ready for the day and come out into the living room where my wife says, "I thought you said Cmar won. Pete has over $900."

Confused I double checked. Apparently while I was in the shower this morning Pete managed to bring us to within inches of our lofty goal.

Having been delegated to 3rd place I am going to declare this a win for everyone.

Congrats on the great contributions Pete!

Manly Point finals when I get home tonight.

Good bearding all!

I've officially completed this more times than NaNoWriMo!

Wow, it was a treat watching that donation counter spin free like it was attached to a air conditioner. It seems to have settled at about $4300-$4400, which is lower than the goal but more than we've ever gotten before. I am humbled and awestruck by the generosity of those who donated. I donated as well (as I also suspect most of my soon-to-be-not-bearded brethren did), but it was a paltry sum compared to the total.

I missed yesterday's post, my first of the year. I have a very short time frame to get my picture in before midnight, and even getting one before sunrise can be a chore, and after over two dozen days of doing it, I just had to miss one. Maybe next year I'll post in the morning before I go to bed each day. Don't know.

I may post another pic in a few days, after I shave off the cheeks and neck and settle into my winter goatee. But the weekend's starting so who knows when I'll actually get around to it.

Yay!

Another last day surge! With one donation hitting just after midnight EST, it was close, but Dr. Cmaaarrr pulled out another come-from-behind victory.

We came up short of the goal, but not by very much. $4,362.75! I am once again astonished by what we've accomplished with a bit inspired tomfoolery.

Of course, our donors deserve the real credit. Thank you all so much for your generosity, and in many cases, for putting up with your husbands, brothers, friends, and coworkers looking a little shaggy for a month.

Thanks also to all the gentlemen who posted, whether once or thirty times this month. You gave your time, you very likely put up with some ribbing, you pandered for sponsorship, and in most cases, parted with some of your own hard-earned cash, too.

It'll take a week or two for the echecks and various other payments to filter in, but then I'll send the whole amount to the Breast Cancer Research Foundation. I will post back when it's done. I'll also put together a Fabulous Prize for our winner. Likely a winner's T-Shirt again this year unless I am otherwise inspired.

If you're an RSS user, feel free to stay subscribed to the feed. Stray posts tend to pop up now and again. Likewise, the website will remain up and active if you want to check in or send an off-season donation.

As for me, I must concede the least-unable-to-grow-a-beard title to my cousin-in-law, Beard A. Nonymous. That's quite the magnificent face rug you've got there, young man. I'll entertain any argument on the subject before I call it case closed, but it'll have to be a pretty good argument.

If you've read this far, I 'll thank you for that as well. I'll be back tomorrow with some more wrap-up, but for now, good night!

Well, this was fun. Hopefully I'll be able to raise some more funds next year, but all in all I'm pleased with the final combined result. That's just awesome.

So long everyone.

Beards all around!

Glad that I could raise my paltry sum, and glad that I could supply someone out there with a ThinkGeek gift card. Very, very glad that I could get together with Jeff and Jim (and past HoNoToGroABeMo champ, Mur Lafferty, and my amazing wife Natania) for drinks and sushi tonight.

Although I demand some extra manly points. Jim got 'em for sushi. What am I? Chopped liver?

Here's to another great year. Where's my razor?!

It's snowing again. And I'm ready for it this time. I really am.

I see that we have had quite a jump in donations recently. This is good. I would like to add my thanks to everyone for donating again this year and to all those beards too. As in the past years, I have again enjoyed growing my beard with you all.

I will keep growing my beard throughout the winter again this year and I welcome you all to join me.

Thanks and have a great winter.

And that's all I have to say about that.

Another year, another beard. And so it goes.

Thanks to everyone who donated this year! And once again, thanks to Bob for being the Lord of the Moneywrangling and for letting us tag along.

See ya 'round teh interwebs, folks.

The Bearders Three...and the men who work for them (look carefully behind the beards)

Tonight we had a Meeting of the Beards as Jim, Michael, and myself met and discussed the gambit of beard-related topics. There was how best to clean stuff out of it. How to avoid the mustache itch. And of course tales of beards gone by.

Jim also felt sure that I'd win this thing this year.

I have my doubts. A few minutes ago I checked and I was up on Cmar by about $100...2 minutes later it was a $60 lead.

I thought perhaps I finally had this thing. I don't know that I'll ever out raise what I pulled in this year and so it is that I am proud, even though tomorrow I'll check and see that Cmar passed me up (and in all likely hood, as seems to be the tradition, someone else then passed him up out of the blue sticking me with 3rd place...we'll see).

It's been a good HoNoToGroABeMo.

I've enjoyed doing the manly points...I'll likely come up with a new schtick for next year. Who knows.

This will be my second to last posting. I'll post once more tomorrow with the final Manly Points count so we all know who the most manly beard grower was this year.

So with that said, on to the manly points:

Chris - 70

Beard A Non - 140 (+5 for a meme I loved...I wish it had appeared more often, +5 for the final reveal)

Drew - 216

Wesley - 306

Bob - 319

Duane - 145 (+5 for being one of my recruits)

Brian - 285 (+10 for almost always sticking to an evil meme the entire time that kept me entertained)

Cmaaarr - 339 (+1 for evil, +2 for consistent awesomeness)

Fred - 109 (+10 for being one of my recruits)

Jeffrey - 306

Kris - 315 (+3 for FLUFFER NUTTER and stuff, +3 for posting even if the beard couldn't make it)

Michael - 134

Pete - 333 (+3 for a manly burger, +3 for manly nerf)

Brian E - 140 (+5 for the pic, +10 for being yet another one of mine)

A Dam - 290

Jim - 330 (+9 for sushi and super heroics)

Wannes - 199

Chooch - 260 (+10 for manly helmet)

Jason - 252 (+2...wait, which one is you?)

"@Paul_Cornell: Beard update: yes, I have been poorly... #fb http://plixi.com/p/92079171

@warrenellis: @Paul_Cornell BEARD RANKING: SINISTER FACIAL COPSE"

- Twitter exchange on April 13, 2011, between Paul Cornell and HoNoToGroABeMo patron saint Warren Ellis

Ah, the final day of HoNoToGroABeMo 2011. I am greatly pleased for several things:

*my beard has come in, as patchy and unruly as it can, as a guide to How Not To Grow A Beard

*it has done so due to the rich, potent fertilizer of donations

*said donations have poured in on this final day, and I am hopeful they will continue to do so as we approach the midnight hour

A grand and humble thank you to all who have donated, especially those who have boosted my coffers in the last 48 hours (which, as I type this, sees me suddenly in second place). For all of our bravado and humor here, this is both a serious and important cause.

Tonight: the final donations, and here's hoping we hit the $5,000 mark! In the next couple of days: I will reveal The Cmar Beard Awards for 2011!

Descriptor of the day: crackling virility hedge

Just like a man

Here it is, 30 days of ... well ... more time in the morning. Sad to see it go. I'll have to come up with another excuse to stop shaving.

Bob, I'm going to have to throw down the gauntlet for 'least able not to grow a beard'. Maybe it's such a close race because we're family. However, my beard isn't 'lush & silky' like yours, it's coarse and rough, like a man. It's also horrible to live with, like a man. It also never cleans up after itself, like a man. When I'm looking at something, there it is off to the side, staring at women, just like a man.

"I can't live the button-down life like you. I want it all! The terrifying lows, the dizzying highs, the creamy middles! Sure, I might offend a few of the blue-noses with my cocky stride and musky odors--Oh, I'll never be the darling of the so-called "City Fathers" who cluck their tounges, stroke their beards, and talk about 'What's to be done with this Homer Simpson?'" -Homer Simpson

So last night we rocked the anus off of the Hard Rock Cafe, Washington DC. I had never been there and was surprised to discover that it was two doors down from Ford's Theater. Oh wow, I should have taken a picture in front of one of the giant Lincoln displays to compare beards. Oh well.

I was actually going to include a picture of my beard owning the stage, but we got home after 1am and were not up to going through the pictures. They are only just now getting sorted, so rather than wait and possibly miss posting on the final night, I decided to don my Viking helm to celebrate my victory.

Which victory, you may ask? Well, for not growing a proper beard, of course!

I mean, it is clearly a beard - there is hair all over my face, but terms to describe it do not include: lush; abundant; lavish; overflowing; or teeming. So, I think that means I am a HoNoToGroABeMo winner along with several other of my brothers on the site.

Thank you for the donations that came in over the last couple days, it is very much appreciated!!

"There is always a period when a man with a beard shaves it off. This period does not last. He returns headlong to his beard" -Jean Cocteau

And so another year of bearding for boobs comes to a close. I have to day I am rather impressed with the level of donations achieved by some individuals. I am rather proud to count myself amongst such a fine crew of boob supporters. To all those that helped us thwart breast cancer this year, and especially those that have done so as a pledge for my quest, I give the sincerest of thanks to you. And I plan on saving even more boobs next year, so come on back for another round next November.

But my real hope is that there isn't a next year for this. Not for this cause. Because I hope the money we donate is put to a good enough use to beat the living snot out of breast cancer. It's a terrible evil thing and I hate it more than I hate vegetables. And I hate vegetables enough to have gone vegetarian. So until the shave off trim up pictures are posted men, the honor of bearding with you has been mine.

The beard in this photograph is an artist's rendering, as my actual beard was not available when the photo was taken.

We are less than four hours away (unless you live in the Central, Mountain or Narnian time zones) from the conclusion of our fund-raising activities. Note that I do not say that we are nearing the end of our beard-growing; I suspect that some of us will likely continue along the Many Follicled Path for at least a few more weeks, if not until the end of winter.

A couple of years ago I shaved my "beard" into mutton chops once December arrived. There are many words to describe how my wife felt about this, and none of them are "thrilled." Photographic evidence of these chops exists on the Internets, if you know where to look.

Whatever happens to my cheeks and chin over the next eleven months, you can be sure of one thing: I'll be shaving again on All Hallow's Eve 2012 and the cycle will begin once more.

Thank you to all of our participants this year. Veterans, it's great to have you back. New guys, I hope we made you feel welcome in your rookie year.

And to all the generous sponsors: thank you, thank you, thank you. As of this writing, I offer nearly 3,600 thanks, and I hope to owe you at least 1,400 more come midnight.

Behold, my shining beard of gray and white, sprung forth from the very bowels of my face, bristling in righteous fury as I fall further and further away from the leading position. For shame! If there is a true beard aficionado among you, you will sponsor my beard! Sponsor it such that it might once again take the lead away from Greiner, the Lord of Beard-dur, master of the Beard-Wraiths. For Middle-Beard!

So this is it. Thirty days, and this is what I've got. Morgan Spurlock can highlight the insanity of our entire culture in thirty days, and I can sort of grow something that can charitably be called a beard.