Where I fail again to not look like an axe murderer

With two days left, our tally of sponsorship is in a dire state. To reach the goal, we'll need to pull in nearly as much as we've collected all month again in these last two days.

Does this worry me?

ohyesohyesohyes Hell, no!

Because I know that in this group of manly men, we have a number of doers, a handful of finishers, one or two go-getters, and perhaps even a decent beggar or two. So, let's do this thing. Cajole, harangue, beguile, wheedle, induce, and otherwise persuade your friends, family, colleagues, and even fellow competitors into kicking in the dollars.

Cancer must be destroyed and together we can be part of the force that destroys it.

Who has a positive integer number of thumbs and posts after midnight?

2 days to go, people. We've got $2300 still to go to get our goal. More importantly, we've got $320 to go before I'm in 1st place.

You know what to do.

Beard! Nurtured with some Bushmills tonight

And I wonder, what shall I do with my beard? Do I keep it for another year?

I kinda enjoyed it after last Beards4Boobs event, and I even went for a big bushy beard during the summer. You know, the kind that instills fear and demands respect.

Ah, we shall see. I'll probably keep it during the winter though. Nice chin warmer.

It's gotten to a second itchy stage? Weird

Not much going on today.

Desaturate.

I'm wearing plaid again today. If I owned an axe, I'd probably be out felling a tree right now. I almost typed "feeling a tree," which...well, let's be honest: that's an option, too. Plaid opens up a lot of new doors to a man, doubly so if that man is sporting a freshly-grown, month-old beard. Did I mention that I'm moving to the Yukon? Well, I'm thinking about it. Options, right? If I do move to the Yukon, I'm going to change my name. Not to Cornelius or Jack, but something that goes well with "Yukon," because nothing says individuality like naming yourself after where you live. Sadly, "Willoughby Kris" is uninspiring; some place names don't lend themselves well to the concept. Just ask Boise Tim or Tampa Dan. Schenectady Pete, on the other hand, is doing just fine.

Hint: Yes, I finally saw The Muppets today.

Do doo be-do-do

Mahna Mahna

Do do-do do

Mahna Mahna

Do doo be-do-do be-do-do be-do-do be-dooda-dooda do do do-doo do!

Gonna save this for an album cover one day.

Though not unique, I find the black and white dramatic shot to have it's place in and amongst the "staple" beard shots. It points out the more cinematic aspects of the beard and adds a feeling of silent reverence for the majesty of these follicles joining together in the common cause of face improvement. Okay, that might be overstating it a bit, but you get what I'm saying right?

Guys?

You are likely to be eaten by a grue.

On our podcast episode released yesterday I made a plea for more donations. I even promised, it being "cyber monday" and all, that I would will my follicles to grow twice as fast today - so that donations get twice the beard dollar for dollar.

Alas, nothing has come in. Of course, many people have long podcast queues, so I have no idea how many people actually heard the latest episode yet. Here's hoping that they listen and are able to chip in before the month is up!

"5. In times of crisis, people always flock to a bearded person."

-from 10 Very Good Reasons Why You Should Grow A Giant Beard

Of course, the beast reason one should grow a giant beard is for boobs.

And, lo, it was time for the report of the second fortnight:

*personal sponsorship: $40 (Alright. Listen. There's only a few days left... FERTILIZE MY FACE!)

*HoNoToGroABeMo total sponsorship: $2635.01

*beard: nearing pre-shave crackling virility hedge density

The month is almost complete, but if prior experience tells me anything, these last few days will see a vast spurt of green! Many thanks to all those who have sponsored a beard - if you haven't yet, please do, as it's for the best cause of all!

Descriptor of the day: weaponized static-accumulator

That...that one right there! You will be trimmed when this thing is over regardless as to what I will do with the beard.

So while others decry the "going back to work" deflation I say, get a better job and quit complaining...we've got beard growing to do here!

I have a problem to discuss quite a bit more manly...the mustache.

My beard, this year, has been quite a non-issue in terms of annoyance. It's grown more strokable than any previous beard and the itchy period was literally only a couple of days. I suspect the conditioner/moisturizer combo was a huge success in this area.

As I mentioned at the start of the month (to provide the voice of HoNoToGroABeMo-ing wisdom) however, the mustache has no solution. The last week or so I reached the point where the lip-beard has started curling onto the soft flesh of the lips. We are at a point now where it's fully there and quite annoying about the whole thing.

The only thing to do about this is trim, but no razor (or trimmer) shall see my face this month, and so I suffer...but at least, thanks to the site here, I don't have to do it in silence.

Quick note, I have 4 sponsors entered into the contest brought to you by Matt and Roxxy Goetz. Based on the amount of the sponsorships, however, we have 6 prizes to give away. So as it stands right now if you were to sponsor me for, say, $5 or $10 right now, you'd have a guaranteed chance to win.

This could change, but hey, worst case, you've helped fight breast cancer. Best case you can get so much more and for a relatively small sponsorship. My wife sponsored me, I'm tempted to enter her into the contest just so I can get one of the prizes myself.

Manly Points:

Chris - 70

Beard A Non - 110

Drew - 195

Wesley - 296 (-1 for cheating poorly)

Bob - 298 (+1 for cat-bearding...which is odd. Cats are definitively not manly, but we seem to have a meme here)

Duane - 130

Brian - 253 (+3 HEY! Those were the droids I was looking for!)

Cmaaarr - 306

Fred - 99

Jeffrey - 285 (+1 for trying to be one of the elites...-1 for failing)

Kris - 278

Michael - 113 (+2 because the contest thing and clues are clever...although perhaps a bit harder than I'm willing to figure out)

Pete - 287 (+1 because terrorizing the local villagers is very manly, -1 for trying to sneak in an extra post in the same day...for shame)

Brian E - 125

A Dam - 270

Jim - 301 (two posts between my posts, but not in the same day...that's 20 points)

Wannes - 179

Chooch - 230

Jason - 229

Two steps to a Long Island iced tea...

I also had to get back to work today and I wasn't quite ready. Time for a drink, I think. Or perhaps a mixture?

Game Two for yesterday is the arcade game Zaxxon, released by Sega in 1982. Zaxxon is notable for two reasons: 1) it was the first isometric game (also known as axonometric projection, hence the name) and 2) it was one of the first games with shadows. The overall effect is nicely 3D, and it stood out greatly against the 2D games of the time (Battlezone excepted). My main memories of the game was that it was so different it was difficult to line up your ship to take shots and avoid things, even with the shadow, so I didn't play it that much. Now that isometric is more common it might be easier.

One fact I was not aware of is that there was a Zaxxon board game as well, published by Milton Bradley. It does not receive good reviews on BoardGameGeek.

Allon$-y!

I also found myself wishing I was still not at work today. I did have an incredibly productive day, but it probably could have waited.

What can't wait is more sponsorship! We only have a few days left, and quite a ways to go. Time to pull out the stops! Where did I put my stops puller?

Yesh Me Lord...

Oh boy... I second all the grumblings today about returning to work (perhaps even with a vengeance). After taking a full week off it's tough to get back into the groove, especially when you also have to come up with clever beard photos. Today is brought to you by my most mediocre Igor impression. Enjoy!

Why is my left eyelid red today?

Coming back from a holiday weekend always blows. Today I'm trying to accomplish multiple things at once, as well as keeping an eye on the two or three things I will no doubt be scrambling to get done next week. Holiday weekends are always just a delay of the inevitable. Plus I seem to have developed some sort of inflammation in my eyelid... joy.

Perhaps I can find new ways to motivate them.

I got those two damned droids that stole the technical readouts for my space laser. The one just makes bleeping noises and I have no idea what it is saying. The other seems to whine alot. I have gift-wrapped them for my Master. The Beard.

Now, I know who has and who has not contributed to my beard fundraising. I am working up a target list for my space laser. Do you want to be on the target list? Come on, boobs are awesome and we can all do something great for them!

I'll eat you out of house and home.

Today was filled with amazing Gingerbread houses and delicious Turkey leftovers. Extreme kudos to the Johnson family this weekend, much of my entertainment and sustenance was because of them.

The ever essential ear flap tuque.

A relaxing day today watching some more Warren Miller ski films. On the donation side of things more is always appreciated. Thank you.

The one on my left is more docile and a better color match.

Seeing the benefit of catbearding presented by my competitors, I decided to try it as well. "But," I asked myself, "which cat?" To choose, I decided against all better judgement that a side-by-side comparison was warranted.

It ... did not go well.

D'oh!

Oops I totally forgot to post this last night. But thanks to the powers of the Internets you'll never know that because I changed the time of the post!

But then I told you about it.

"Manny: You think I should wash my beard?

Bernard: Yes, I think you should wash it. Then you should shave it off, nail it to a frisbee, and fling it over a rainbow."

"Bernard: You know what you are? You're a beard with an idiot hanging off it."

- Black Books, "The Big Lock-Out", episode 5 series 1

Home again, home again, and all that. Thanksgiving-related travel was lovely, but returning home after a few days away means checking the house for cat-damage.

Yes, that means the ceiling too.

Yes, they have done ceiling things in the past.

Why do I own cats, again? No idea. But at least I know why I attempt to grow this beard... for boobs. We're entering the last few days - let's push those donations, so we can push out jaw-foliage!

Descriptor of the day: nest, a bit too friendly