I am highly tolerant of the cold. I'm not sure if it's due to my extra girth or the years I spent in Oregon, but I can wear shorts most of the year and don't normally don a jacket until the dead of winter.

Today, I wore a coat - and not just the thatch of man-coat on my chin! The weather has been very indecisive this year. A few days it's like summer, then it snows, then it rains, then it's summer again.

I do prefer the cold, so hopefully this is the turning point and Mother Nature has made up her mind. Though I'll probably be in shorts again this weekend.

Pleasantly buzzed

You know, I was probably going to do some more facts^* or something clever or something. But after volleyball tonight, I haad two Stone IPAs. In hindsight, maybe one was enough? But it was so tasty. So I had two. And now I'm thinking mainly of sleep.

This is actually a hat for wintery weather. It's a good thing that it is wintery so that I can wear it.

That's right winter is my favorite time of year. And one of my other favorite things is BOOBS. So thank you to the mysterious donator(s).

My Brother Kris noted that I wear hats well, so I will wear some.

"We have begun a new series of experiments in which cats are exposed to bearded men with a beard type (International Beard Classification Type #5G) that was not previously included in the investigations...

The test subjects were female cats, all between the ages of four and six. 231 cats participated in the study. Six cats died during the study, due to causes unrelated to the bearded men. Twelve cats gave birth while viewing the photographs."

- excerpts from "Feline Reactions to Bearded Men of Beard Type #55G", an additional report in a series of articles in the Annals of Improbable Research

One cannot presume to know, assume, or take for granted the reactions of felines to bearded men. That is why these must be subjected to SCIENCE. To be understood, for the benefit of mankind. To be predicted, when men displayed their beards for boobs.

That way, we can be prepared for side effects, such as FELINE JAW-RUPTURE SYNDROME. Here, I attempt to contain said rupture. This thing I am growing... it is starting to get a bit wild.

Descriptor of the day: frizzled multi-vectors

Just tired. Short night, up early, busy day at work.

That's all I got for now.

Going to put on some tunes, grab a drink, and probably tinker around on our website some.

Stay beardy!

Anyone seen any fire-breathing lizards?

More donations have come in, so thank you very much, kind supporters. Still, I am behind and so am inspired to search for gold, silver and coppers. However, you can't look for treasure without being suitably armed...

Day Fifteen was again a bit obscure, both for the clues and because the game is not that well-known, never having been published. In Christmas of 1967 or 1968, David Wesley, inspired by a 1871 wargame training manual, ran a Napoleonic era game set in the fictional town of Braunstein. He was interested in games with more than two players, and he acted as referee, while the other players represented different factions in the town with their own agendas, from soldiers in the opposing armies to members of the town itself. The initial plays were quite chaotic, but despite this his group kept calling for another "Braunstein." So after a few more plays of the original with some tweaks (such as relaxing the winning conditions), Wesley created a second scenario (Piedra Morenas) involving spies in the fictional Latin American country of Banannia. After he left for Vietnam, other locales were used, from the Old West, to 1919 Russia, to 1944 Poland.

So to make it clear: we have a game with a referee, players with their own special abilities and agendas, and no clearly defined winning condition. On top of that, Wesley ordered a set of regular solids with numbers on them to use as dice for the game (though he mostly used the 12- and 20-siders). Thus, the "Braunstein" became the starting point of RPGs as we know them.

Smooth as a baby porcupine's bottom.

I noticed today that, if I put my hand on my face and move it around, the bristles all move in unison to follow my hand like iron filings following a magnet. I don't know exactly when this became possible. It could have been today, or yesterday, or even the day before. I only noticed it today.

That got me thinking. As my stubble grew into bristles, and my bristles grow into a beard, where is the line drawn? When is a beard a beard and not just a collection of patchy, unkempt growth?

Looking at my "beard" all I can say for sure is I haven't gotten there yet.

Word Count: 20164, 0 today

I know, I know.

I promise to hurt you the right way, with cartoonish physical violence and elaboarte traps made out of strange things I bought over the internet.

It has been a hell of a day. Fly-land-fly-land-meetings-crash kind of day. I'm sorry, I am just not up to being evil tonight. My beard actually fell asleep an hour ago.

Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz: I have an intense, burning indifference.

Super-Beards...AWAY!

Today is super for so many reasons.

Super-Reason One: It's new comic book day. Even though I download instead of go to the store I still get pumped about it.

Super-Reason B: Yesterday in my post I announced a new contest where people can get killer cool stuff by sponsoring me. Save lives and win fabulous prizes. If you're not unemployed there's no reason you shouldn't be sponsoring me now.

Super-Reason Gamma: Sometime between going to bed last night and waking up this morning, some awesome person tossed $100 on my beard. It's feeling thicker and more manly than ever. And I also found it to be quite stroke-able on my drive in this morning. I give credit to this fantastic mystery sponsor. Thanks!

Super-Reason Cancer: Last week I gave my students a test. Often when I give tests I give students a "picture of the day". Something for those who finished early to draw to keep them busy so they won't pester the ones still working. Today's picture of the day was a "hug-able dragon", for example...oh yeah, I gave a test today too.

But last week's picture of the day was "a super-beard". I then pulled out my favorites (for different reasons) and took pictures. Well, today I figured out how to turn those pictures I snapped into a slideshow. I wonder if it will work.

After a few attempts to figure it out, I'm going to give up on embedding a slideshow here and leave that up to Bob to sort out for the future...

...but without further ado, the pictures of the Super-Beards as interpreted by 7th graders!

And now...the Manly Points:

Chris - 70

Beard A Non - 96

Drew - 126

Wesley - 174

Bob - 171 (+3 for made-up hilarity)

Duane - 110 (+1 because he does look sinister in a hood)

Brian - 165

Cmaaarr - 178 (+1 for good picture censoring)

Fred - 74

Me - 110

Jeffrey - 181 (+1 for...wait, those aren't your hands)

Kris - 176 (+1 for having my grandmother's couch and blanket)

Michael - 41

Pete - 167 (+2 for low-budget effects and self-mutilation)

Brian E - 89

A Dam - 134

Jim - 167

Wannes - 128 (+2 for homemade candy...and chili candy to boot)

Chooch - 158

Jason - 107

My eyes, I believe them not.

How is it possible that A dam Johnson's beard has generated six times more in donation dollars than my own? Is it six times fuller? I don't think so! Six times longer? Certainly not! Six times beardier? I highly doubt it! Six times manlier? I don't—hey, shut up; it is not!

It's the genuine Australian hat, isn't it? Okay, I'll admit it: he wears hats well. I do not. My noggin is far too large and unwieldy; any hat I perch atop it looks like a thimble sitting on a cantaloupe.

Speaking of melons, regardless of my unfortunately-proportioned cranium, let's not forget that all donations (even the ones you make out of pity) go to fund breast cancer research, so regardless of my little brother's sartorial splendor it would be perfectly all right to toss a few bucks my way. It's not like he gets to use the money to buy more hats.

Closer...Closer...No.Wait! That's too close!

It turns out my house woes are of the easy to fix kind. This may actually be the first documented case of an unexpected house problem being minor. Apparently the main issue is that the rubber boot that fits around both of the sewer/drain pipe vents have decayed to a point of needing replaced. And apparently, my usual team on contractors over at Holland, have discovered a nifty replacement solution that does not require any roofing. Best news I've had all week. I'll let you know how great the news is after I get my bill.

On the D&D topic, I'll keep it short tonight and actually use last night's segue. I think it's fair to say most D&D players have a vested interest in their characters. I'd also say that most of them put some time and effort into a backstory to make the character easier to play and more lifelike. So with all that effort going into this on their end, why shouldn't the DM take some time to bring that character's story to the foreground every once and a while. Or at minimum highlight their favorite kind of task. It's surprisingly easy to throw in a bit of drama for the whole group from one player's past. For example: Let's say your group is moving too quickly along your planned out story line and they will get to a main character that should be hard to defeat, just a bit too quickly. Simply throw in an old rival, an old girlfriend, or rumors of captured parents, and now your group is pulled in a direction that only sidetracks them from your main plot, but let's your players feel like the situation is worth the diversion because it adds depth to a character they most likely care about.

Another way to make things a bit more personal is to add class specific tasks into the already plotted out adventure. So often, characters are relegated to the traditional roles in battle, that they long for an interesting way to use their unique skills. These can be hard to think of sometimes, but anything from unique needs for distractions, or a long range target that could warn a whole platoon of soldiers, the need to break down a door, steal some horses, or running into a primitive creature that reveres magic as godlike are all examples of ways to make a character feel more highlighted within the group. I also enjoy flipping leadership roles by putting a character like a thief or mage as the authority figure by placing them in a den of thieves, or a school of magic. Because the inhabitants there would typically communicate far better with their own kind.

Well, so much for being short. Hopefully I sparked a new idea for you for your next adventure, or even your novel. I am open to receiving a percentage of profits should your next adventure/story be published. :)

For all you do, thi$ beard'$ for you!

So I may have been out sick Monday, but I've more than made up the time this week (unfortunately). In fact, today I have coughed, worked, ate, and put my kids to bed. Oh, and my beard kept growing. That's it.

But I think I'm starting to feel better, and my voice sort of works, so things are looking up.

Huge truckloads of thanks to all my sponsors!

16 November 2011

It's rainy today in Western Massachusetts.

The only good thing about rain is that it gives me an opportunity to wear sinister looking hoods in public.

Beard is coming along nicely, though. It says "this burly guy in the hooded raincoat is brimming with testosterone, and you should give him room as he passes you on the sidewalk."

FATALITY: Baraka Wins!

In a desperate attempt to get out of the donation gutter (and possibly sabotage my opposition) I have replaced my hands with scissors. Yes ladies and gentlemen, I am willing to disfigure myself to increase the support for Boobs. If this doesn't show my devotion to the cause I may have to replace my entire beard with scissors next. So please donate and I'll send you masterfully cut paper snowflakes (which is pretty much all I can do with hands now).

Uh oh, I feel an itch coming on.

I'm looking into your soul right now. Can you feel it?

I got so preoccupied at work yesterday that I neglected to take a photo! Suffice it to say that my beard looked substantially the same yesterday as it does today.

I think my wife is actually starting to like the facial hair. I, on the other hand, will be glad to be rid of it.

Up close and personal

Can you see it? Can you tell? That's beard fed with spicy chili candy.

Yesterday I created a batch of habanero-raspberry hard candy. Pretty good stuff, although I'm tempted to try and ramp up the spice level.

Perhaps double the amount, or try and create a batch of Ghost Chili flavored candy. That would be a nice kick.

*munches on another piece of candy*

I still know that you don't know what I know!

Opening day for hunting whitetail deer with a rifle in Michigan today. Everyone was in the bush so it was a very sloooow day at work.

This day was about as rough as my beard.

Well, actually it kinda did. Still dealing with the crack in my ceiling and just got another curve ball thrown my way. Ah well, I suppose it's how we deal with these times that helps build character. You might think that that's a perfect segue into talking about player characters, and it is...but, I'm not going to use it tonight. Tonight I am going to leave the D&Dness to the other Jeff. Mostly because I just want this day to be over. Barring a repeat (and that would be hard to do) tomorrow, I'll get back into some more of my personal viewpoints on the fun in DMing/D&D.

Stupid autofocus.

First, some business. A warm thank you to my boss for the copious dose of beard fertilizer he dropped on me today, moving me out of the bottom region of the standings. Despite that, we're 50% through November, but only 36.3% through our fundraising. We can do this, gentlemen. In addition, after doing some quick calculations, I've decided that I can afford to pay the PayPal fees on the first $3,000 in donations, ensuring that, until that magical number is reached, each cent a donor pledges will reach the BCRF.

Now, the entertainment portion of our show. After some exhaustive research^*, allow me to present some lesser-known beard facts^**.

• The beard was invented in 1673 by a French courtier named Francois De Beardeaux. A number of variations have been put forth since then, but none has really caught on
• It's often noted that Mrs. O'Leary's cow started the great Chicago fire. What's less known is that the conflagration began in Mr. O'Leary's beard, as he was milking the old girl (the cow, that is) at the time
• The electric shaver was debuted at the 1889 World's Fair in Paris to much greater fanfare than the Eiffel Tower
• Chuck Norris' beard is a direct descendant of De Beardeaux's
• The American Revolution was in very real danger of failing until George Washington forsook the razor before the Battle of Trenton
• My beard actually composed this post autonomously

If you liked it then you shoulda grown a beard on it!

Halfway there! Not with my NaNo (Sadly) but with my beard! I'm happy with my progress in both, though, and expect this year's crop of beardage to yield me a nice goatee for the winter.

And the NaNo should yield me a nice bit of bookage, after lots and lots of editing. That I'm not worrying about now. At all. Nope nope nope.

Word Count: 20164, 2114 today.

Woot! Forward progress! And no editing. Editing is for LOSERS.