Eeeeexcellent.

I've spend the last several years building up an immunity to tryptophan just in case I have to engage a Sicilian in a battle of w—I did that wrong, didn't I?

Never mind that.

I'm seeing a lot of beard quotes this month; let's have one from the other side of the 4.

"There's a shortage of perfect breasts in the world. It would be a pity to damage yours."

— Westley, The Princess Bride

Donations, I need them.

Embrace the gray. And the scraggly.

Tomorrow is Turkey Day. I work 7 hours of it, from midnight to 7am. So meh.

But when I'm done, I am going to sleep, eat, and watch football. Like God intended.

Word Count: 25270, 0 Today.

I'm officially worried about my word count.

She's such a drama queen.

I post no spoilers.

In a previous post I mentioned my fandom of a bearded man by the name of Jim Henson. Tonight I went and viewed some talented people reviving that vision. And while you can never have things the way they were when Jim was with us, you can do your best to honor him. Tonight, I believe that Jason Segel and the cast of The Muppets pulled off a very enjoyable movie. They really thought of just about everything. Old and new Muppet fans will should really enjoy this movie. I give it 4 out of 4 Muppet fingers.

While the producers and directors of the movie may not have forgotten much, I did. I did not bring Calliope (the young lady to my left) with me to see The Muppets and now she's not talking to me (think about that.) I guess it serves me right. I'll just see if I can find some way to make it up to her or whatnot. I believe I'll go see the movie again before too long, so I'll see if she'll talk to me long enough to agree to go then.

If you are concerned about Disney mucking up the movie like they have for the last few Muppet movies, don't worry. They kept it adult enough without really dipping the Disney hand in there. I mean there is a glaring ad for Cars in there, but that's the extent of how Disney it feels. I'd also say they did a great job bringing the Muppets up to date without trying to overdo it, like has been done in the past.

Okay, don't look. Can you guess how many times does the word Muppet appear in this post? And yes, that one counts.

"Clown: Foolery, sir, does walk about the orb like the sun, it shines every where. I would be sorry, sir, but the fool should be as oft with your master as with my mistress: I think I saw your wisdom there.

Viola: Nay, an thou pass upon me, I'll no more with thee. Hold, there's expenses for thee.

Clown: Now Jove, in his next commodity of hair, send thee a beard!"

- from Act 3 Scene 1 of William Shakespeare's Twelfth Night

As previously noted, there is only one alive who knows the significance of the orange orb of travel, and owns it's counterpart.

Let it be said, at least, that said orb is full of joy and travel-endurance properties, and can now mark Washington, PA, off on the "places of the world" it has seen. In this case, 'tis a pit stop on the road towards Thanksgiving gatherings and feastery.

Descriptor of the day: unruly hedge-roots

Growing juice!

We've had some more donations and that's good to see. Thank you!

Where's that confounded... er, what's that word again?

First a big thank you to Daniel and Megan, who have contributed greatly to the cause. Perhaps that's enough to carry me through to the end, but perhaps I could use a little more financial encouragement, if you know what I mean.

Saw The Muppets today, and it was most excellent. A highly recommended movie for those who wish to entertain either kids or the nostalgic. The "Lithium" reference was also inspiration enough for me to pick up the guitar again (of which, only part is related to today's game).

The earliest reported instance of Poker (yesterday's game) is from 1829. It was most likely invented in the saloons around New Orleans in the early 19th Century, based on similar games and possibly considered a variant of a French game called Poque. In this early version, the deck had 20 cards (face cards plus the ace and 10), flushes and straights were not used, and it was limited to four players. By 1835, 52-card decks were being used, most likely to allow more players, and the flush was introduced. Later came the straight -- although there was some contention with allowing the straight flush to beat four-of-a-kind, with traditionalists desiring to keep the top hand of four aces plus king.

The original poker dealt out 5 cards facedown with no wildcards or draw. The draw was introduced somewhere in the 1830s, with 5- and 7-card stud appearing sometime during the Civil War, and the wild card in the 1870s. Community cards showed up sometime in the early 20th Century, but of course reached their greatest popularity with Texas Hold-em.

Personally, I prefer 7-card Stud, but perhaps that's because I don't like to share.

Kaylee has been a handful today. We are babysitting for some friends and she has just been spazzing the whole time.

They have two collies that are her best friends, but rather than play, she has chosen to eat:

A basketball

Some sort of plant pod

A tuft of collie fur

The list of food to prepare for Thanksgiving

Leaves

A nerf dart

But with a face like this, how can I stay mad at her?

An apple a day keep$ the... Ah, never mind.

I'm feeling rather down today. Sick kiddos and an overlong work day meant we didn't go see The Muppets as I'd hoped. No new sponsors, and I see I lost two manly points yesterday (even with my use of international subliminal messages).

Hopefully there is a slice of pumpkin pie with my name on it waiting in the fridge. If for some reason it isn't there, someone will pay.

"We're brain-slugs and we come in peace."

I saw the Muppet's movie today, all bright and early. All I've got to say is... fantastic. If you love Mop/Puppets, enjoy music written by Bret Mckenzie of Flight of the Conchords, or believe yourself to have a funny-bone you should see this movie. After you return you should probably also donate money to me for my stellar suggestion. Yup, nothing shows appreciation better than giving a man money to save some boobs.

Food Coma Rising

We had our annual office Thanksgiving potluck today. Oh boy. Mac 'n' cheese, deep-fried turkey, cranberry sauce, potatoes, all manner of desserts, veggies, sprouts, rolls... great stuff. My stomach has been given the foundation for the two additional Thanksgiving meals to come over the long weekend.

In other news, I stayed up until 3 AM working on a remix. I am really wiped. Going home to rest after work and then out again with friends in from out of town.

Sometimes I think the holidays are more work than work is.

Who is this man with the beard and the secret identity?

So today school is closed. I'm off work. My son is home from school. The wife is still at work. The youngest boy is at daycare...it's father-son day.

We opened the day with a trip to the dentist to transform my teeth into pearly white chompers.

That concluded we have come home for lunch of leftovers and are watching the original Transformers cartoon series. I've had this idea that we'd watch them all from the beginning together. My son has loved it. I...well, I loved some of it. Some episodes/seasons hold up better than others.

Season 3, that which comes after the movie, had the most potential, coming after the very interesting and story-shattering Transformers: The Movie and yet failed the hardest. After the movie and even season 2 (the season that goes for ever...seriously, there's like 50 episodes in that season alone and they're all stand-alone in and out one-shot episodes) you expect to see decent animation...and you DO NOT get it. It's universally poor.

The stories are often contradictory and meaningless. Every other episode is an excuse to introduce a new character, most of which didn't even look good. I get that the goal was to sell toys, but just one corny excuse after another why they are allowed to break the previously established rules about how to make new transformers are thrown out over and over again. And worse, some new transformers just show up without explanation...although that's a trope that earlier seasons also fell into. And the look of some of the new guys in the cartoon is horrible and chunky, I can only assume that the toy versions were worse.

Slowly the animation gets better over the season. The stories don't. And Rodimus Prime (who replaced Optimus in the movie) never really does come off as much of a leader...or even a likable guy after the film. I don't think the writers even liked him because he is seldom used as an important character. Which means when they do use him it just feels odd.

Today, however, I find myself watching the last disc with the boy and, lo and behold, it is good. It utilizes the story elements of the movie and develops characters in interesting ways. It tells meaningful stories that build off of what has come before and seems to be moving forward in cool ways. It is playing up the villains established in the movie that were made into bumblers in season 3.

What a way for the series to end. On a real bang. It's nice that they could finish season 3 well and I look forward to watching all three episodes of season 4 as the week continues.

Now, the Manly Points:

Chris - 70

Beard A Non - 110

Drew - 175

Wesley - 247

Bob - 246 (+2 funny)

Duane - 130

Brian - 218 (+1 because I like you in a beard)

Cmaaarr - 253

Fred - 99

Jeffrey - 242

Kris - 235

Michael - 66

Pete - 225

Brian E - 115

A Dam - 217

Jim - 236

Wannes - 169

Chooch - 210

Jason - 165

Remove Before Flight?

It is time to get serious. I have been growing this beard for 23 days now. I have never grown a beard before and I am not sure how I feel about it yet. Still feels very foreign to feel the bed of facial hair when I do anything that involved my face and neck. Despite this awkwardness I am happy to grow the beard for the boobs! I am still only at $70 in donations with a week to go. Won't you consider sponsoring me? I would be ever so grateful.

I've always thought the most sensual part of a woman was the boobies. -Zapp Brannigan

Oops!

Whoa! It's after midnight alreadys! I blame the Olde Fartz, who distracted me with many zombie killings for two and a half hours. I'd best hurry up and get this posted before it's tomorrow everywhere. Something something boobs, something guilt, something something money, something something something boobs again.

It's all about the concentration.

In order for things to come to fruition there must me concentration without deviation. Plain and simple.

Am I making shifty eyes? Why am I making shifty eyes?

Unlike Mr. Johnson, I totally changed the timestamp on my post posted just before midnight on the 22nd.

I believe it's time for another round of beard facts^*

• The first How Not To Grow A Beard Month took place in November, 1864. A regiment of union soldiers first came up with the idea of posting photos of their nascent beards to the internet during a lull in combat. Sherman's march to the sea interrupted the fledgling organization before a single boob could be saved.
• It's said that in ancient Greece, some millenia before the beard was invented, men first experimented with facial hair but were unable to proceed beyond week 2 due to the terrible itch.
• It has been widely, and incorrectly circulated that de Beardeaux's eureka moment came when he'd gone out one chilly winter day having forgotten his scarf. The truth, sadly, is more mundane. Years of research on breast-saving techniques led to his invention.
• Thomas Edison attempted to file for a patent on the beard, and if not for a fastidious patent clerk, might have received it, mixed as it was between filings for things like accordions and light bulbs and telephones.
• Our founder, Kris Johnson, generously refuses to take credit for perfecting the beard-boob link, allowing this site to exist.
• I have had only one beer this evening.

Beard's not looking too shabby. Shaggy? Sure. Shabby? Not too.

I realized another reason (other than those sweet, sweet points) that I may be posting every day: I have a camera with me, with internet access, at all times. So when I forget to take a picture I can just snap one off wherever I happen to be and bammo, site update.

Word Count: 25270, 0 Today.

But I caught up on all my TV watching. That's worth something, right?

"Blackadder: I want to be remembered when I'm dead. I want books written about me. I want songs sung about me. And then hundreds of years from now I want episodes of my life to be played out weekly at half past nine by some great heroic actor of the age.

Baldrick: Yeah, and I could be played by some tiny tit in a beard.

Blackadder: Quite."

"Blackadder: Very well, I accept. A man may fight for many things: his country, his principles, his friends, the glistening tear on the cheek of a golden child. But personally I'd mud wrestle my own mother for a ton of cash, an amusing clock, and a sack of French porn. You're on.

Prince George: Hurrah!"

- Blackadder the Third, "Duel and Duality", 1987

There are few people in the storied history of professional wrestling who are as legitimately as badass as Dave "Fit" Finlay. Here are but a few examples of his badassery:

*his Irish toughness is so tangible, while he has never worn a beard in his wrestling persona, he still projects the aura of one

*he once kicked through a wooden table in 1999 and severed a major nerve in his leg; he healed it through force of will and continues to wrestle unhampered to this day

*given a ridiculous green hat, shillelagh, and a dirty leprechaun-dwarf named Hornswaggle as part of his in-ring gimmick, he somehow inverted the silliness of the situation into pure awesome and somehow, it made him even more intimidating

I'd like to believe that with beard-power, I will win this confrontation... but even though he is in action-figure form, that shillelagh is bloody big.

Descriptor of the day: puffed sleekness

Previously, on Mad Men ...

Well, the good news is that it's not itching anymore (the beard; get your mind out of the gutter). The bad news is that the patch on my chin that keeps me from growing a goatee still refuses to grow. Dammit.

Even Lady Gaga can't beat this

I ain't revealin' nothin'.

Strictly speaking, Day Twenty-One's picture is a representation of the third game in this series, but what I have in mind is what is regarded as the first "God" game: Populous. Populous was Bullfrog Productions's second game and its first huge success, designed by Peter Molyneux and released in 1989. You play a god, who has to guide worshipers to build a civilization to take on another god and his worshipers. In the first two iterations, you didn't control your minions, but cajoled them through your actions. Populous: The Beginning introduced a somewhat spherical world (hence the blue globe in the picture) and direct control. Populous led to many other games, such as Powermonger and Black & White.

Fun fact from Wikipedia: Populous was originally planned out using Lego.

Hint: Each cell is made up of six dot positions, arranged in a rectangle containing two columns of three dots each.

So far, no more donations. I guess there are some people out there that hate ThinkGeek and love cancer. Who would've thought?

Nevertheless, I press onward. Tonight, I lose some hair. Namely, that upon my head. Tomorrow or the next day will see the demise of my beard. All for the sake of marital bliss.

But you? You could win a $50 ThinkGeek gift card. Maybe even two $50 ThinkGeek gift cards. All you have to do visit every day, leave comments, and crack the code!