(This is crossposted with minor editing from my column at The Secret Lair. The original can be found here.)

And so, it has come to pass that we find ourselves in "awards season", wherein fond looks are taken back at the prior year in media, and trophies are doled out for various forms of perceived excellence in movies, television, and music. Much attention is showered upon the festivities and celebrities involved, and much ado is paid to the recipients of said awards. That noted, the Grammys last weekend made one thing glaringly clear - beyond his inability to competently carry a tune or strum a guitar, Justin Bieber cannot grow an award-winning beard.

Now, it is time to give awards to those who can.

HoNoToGroABeMo 2010 was the largest yet, both in terms of total donations and number of participants. Pete DiLillo and his lush man-thicket ended up dominating the donation race, earning him the title of current, reigning, and defending Champion of HoNoToGroABeMo. Witness his half-shorn shock:

Bob's recap sums up the experience, and as a participant, I will add my own effusive thanks to all who donated. Their generosity for our boob-buffoonery was amazing.

All that said, it is time to bestow The Cmar Beard Awards for HoNoToGroABeMo 2010. These have nothing to do with any donations received, and everything to do with the glorious pictography of crackling virility hedges:

• Best Beard Photo: There were many entries during the month that stood out for creativity, humor, or photographic skill, but the trophy for best beardy picture goes to Jim Van Verth for Day 14: Abra-abra-cadabra. The facial contorting, posing, and expression convey that he's not only gonna getcha, but he's gonna getcha in a way you may never recover from. This is Mr. Van Verth's second year in a row winning this category, so step it up, gents.



• Man Most Exemplifying How Not To Grow A Beard: One might think that this would be the closest category to judge, but that turns out not to be the case. Even though he allowed his neck beard to stay strong this time around, for the second year in a row, Jeff Greiner takes the prize. C'mon gents, step it down and give him some competition.



• Best Time Lapse Photo Series: All participants were varied in their choice of poses on a daily basis, but only one of us had enough consistency of follicular posture and backdrop to take this category. Jason Penney, that would be you! (Click through to view the slideshow.)
• Man Most Exemplifying How To Grow A Beard: As noted above, the ability of many of us to generate a thick face mane is somewhat surprising. While several of us were in the running, Adam Johnson gets the award by sprouting a 30 day untamed jaw jungle, even after some judicious trimming.



• Best Use Of Non-Facially Generated Props: Our overall champion, Pete, also is the obvious winner in this category, both for framing his beard on a daily basis with an endless supply of amazing headgear (click through for the slideshow), and for this epic hat-gasm on the final day:



• Daily Commitment To The Task: November is a busy month, and few find the time and the stamina to start on Day 1 and produce a post for all 30 days. Our founder, Bob, led the pack in this regard as he does each year, and finds himself co-accepting this award with Jeff, Pete, Jim, and Jeffery for 2010.
• Best-Spun Beardy Yarns: Everyone strove to lay down some manner of words each day with their posts, and a few of us were able to tell some good tales. However, as clearly as he showed us how not to grow a beard, Jeff Greiner blew us all away with his sincere and excellent beardy yarns each day. With topics ranging from gaming to education, they are well worth your time to read.

Congratulations to all of the winners! To all the participants, it was a pleasure joining you once again in this endeavor, and to give recognition where recognition is due. To everyone else, I’ll merely note that only 257 days remain until HoNoToGroABeMo 2011, and this whole mad affair will start up again.

Beardy Cmar: The Boob Warrior

Many men entered. One beard is, shortly, to leave.

Well, with the top honor, that is. The rest of the beards get to leave, too, with the satisfaction of a job well done.

In the waning hours of this exercise in oncology-enhancing generosity, I find myself exceedingly thankful to everyone who has donated. In the spirit of friendly competition, I will aim the thankfulness at those who have given for the sake of my jaw-thicket - due to three last minute contributions, I find myself suddenly in second place as I type this, just below the pack-leading Jeffery. In the more important spirit of what we are doing here, this thankfulness applies to all donors for all beards.

This is a most excellent cause. If you have not yet given, and want to shake up the standings in these final hours, now's your chance.

One last time for 2010:

Sensation: The face insulation has matured to a jaw-hugging natural ease.

Palpation: A true, soft, luxuriant hedge of crackling virility.

Personal satisfaction rating: 5 (out of 5 Norsemen)

not too shabby for four week's worth of passive work

Yesterday, there was much post-Thanksgiving travel, and a return from the confluence of Cmars, hence no pictoral representation of the face-mane.

It is also vastly important to note that further mystery donations have steadied me in the 4th-place spot, for which I am most grateful - thank you!

We are four weeks into this thing, and the groomed crackling virility hedge is almost back to it's pre-shorn splendor. Almost...

Tomorrow, we end this thing.

Sensation: face-cushion comfort

Palpation: soft, like an anti-cancer cloud

Personal satisfaction rating: 4 (out of 5 Norsemen)

note the way the mandibular bush divides light from shadow, evoking the eternal tension of light against dark across the weathered face of Cmar

Because, as established last year, artsy lighting makes jaw-thickets grow.

Sensation: comfy, comfy, comfy

Palpation: a well-intercalated chin-mat

Personal satisfaction rating: 4 (out of 5 mood-lit Norsemen)

not your father's Christmas music... well, mine, at least

Today, Laura and I engaged in our cherished holiday tradition of seeing the Trans-Siberian Orchestra live on tour. As usual, it was loud, both visually and auditorally spectacular, and completely over the top... which is why I enjoy it so.

An added treat this time around was to go with my parents and brother, who clearly had no idea what they were in for. I'm not sure they liked it, but I am sure they won't forget the experience.

I wear the shirt to note that TSO is tied closely with the history of the legendary band Savatage. I wear the beard, as always, for boobs.

Sensation: the crackling virility hedge is comfortable and relaxed

Palpation: soft, padded bulk

Personal satisfaction rating: 4 (out of 5 rocking-out Norsemen)

zzzz

There was a confluence of Cmars.

And a glorious dinner at Big Jones.

And much thanks was given, where appropriate.

And now, to DIGEST.

Sensation: sweet and natural

Palpation: hedge-like in texture

Personal satisfaction rating: 4 (out of 5 post-prandially narcoleptic Norsemen)

a glorious holiday drive lies ahead, but thanks to my jaw-thicket, the wind shall buffet my face NOT

A confluence of Cmars, and turkey, awaits.

Sensation: itch has thankfully receded

Palpation: soft but even after grooming

Personal satisfaction rating: 4 (out of 5 Norsemen)

you shall not overcome my Siam-face-fu style

And lo, this day 22, I find myself spitting forth a Siamese cat from my face, like an animated familiar-fist. All is right with the world.

Sensation: decidedly Siamese dense-furry-warmness

Palpation: squirmy purr-vibrations

Personal satisfaction rating: 4 (out of 5 Norsiamen)

not too shabby (but moderately prickly) for three week's worth of passive work

Yesterday, the wear of travel and crafting of a vast quantity of a Slovakian delicacy saw me collapse in a pile of potato skins before a picture could be nabbed.

Weaksauce, you say? My halusky is damn tasty, I say, and you can have none of it.

We are three weeks into this thing, and the face-mane has transitioned into crackling virility hedge territory, complete with patchy unruliness.

As of this posting, I am fourth in the overall donation standings... but as my hairy jaw-fist grows, I need MORE to save the boobs.

Please, fertilize my face, baby. With money. Money only, you perv.

Sensation: unexpected attack of jawline itchiness... what's up with that?!

Palpation: bristly and a bit untamed, for being relatively short

Personal satisfaction rating: 1 (out of 5 pruritic Norsemen)

game on... for boobs

Thanks to the esteemed advice of fellow mammary savior Jim, my final evening in Boston was spent consuming an amazing burger at Mr. Bartley's Gourmet Burgers, followed by a trip to renowned game vendor Games People Play, and assorted other wanderings. While GPP was closed when I arrived, that doesn't prevent me from showing my game face.

Sensation: the occasional itch, but otherwise comfortable on the face

Palpation: intercalating, but a bit "sproingy" today

Personal satisfaction rating: 2 (out of 5 burger-sated Norsemen)